Miss Planet Earth Page 8
“But a shot like that should have killed you,” said Yorick, trotting to keep up with her, “Even if it did just hit the earth. And I doubt you had time to shield yourself. Where did you…”
“Owaitt’s fetish function,” she said happily.
“His what?” The former captain and the current one turned back to look at Katra, who was lagging with confusion.
“Some people are into large men,” tiny little Jesi said with a shrug. “Owaitt has the capacity to inflate, to accommodate.”
“But to act as an airbag…”
“Some people like really large men,” she said. “Don’t judge, Katra. Your generation was so prude.”
They walked into the bridge, where a battle was fully under way. Podulk piloted as Owaitt manned the turret, taking to it like a fish to water. Take the compassion away from a robot, and watch him thrive.
“Your turn to take it in the ass!” the droid screamed, destroying yet another Tagriffian ship.
“Well, that’s that,” said Jesi. “Congratulations. You have just destroyed the entire Tagriffian fleet. We saved the planet and found the royal gems. How do you feel?”
“Like I need a drink,” said Katra.
“I second that,” Yorick added.
“And me,” Jesi exclaimed. “How much do you think this body can handle? Not enough, I take it.”
Podulk turned the ship around, letting it orbit the Earth in silence, watching the planet rotate below. The Tagriffian ships were gone, decimated by each other, or picked clean by a vengeful sexbot with his tongue on a leash. Their captain let out a massive sigh.
“Well, that’s that, then,” she said. “I guess we’re all free to do what we want, now.”
“Go our separate ways,” agreed Yorick.
“I’m not sure I want to,” said Katra.
All eyes turned to her, and she smiled. “You’re the only people I know. I thought you were dead, and losing you was worse than losing my planet. I think it means I kinda… want to stay.”
“Well, I have no better place to go,” said Yorick, wrapping an arm around Katra’s waist. And this time, no windows to jump out of, no shell between them, no holes into lost airports to fall though. He was here, and he was holding her.
Her heart leapt in her chest.
“If you still need a first mate, Jesipax, I’m all in.”
“Well good,” she said, placing her arms on her hips. “What’s the good in being the captain of a stolen ship if there’s no one who wants to be my crew? Podulk?”
“I am a good pilot,” said Podulk, his voice the closest to being smug that Katra had yet to hear.
“Owaitt?”
“Captain Jesi, I am to remind you never to buy a service droid.”
“Well, I guess that settles it,” said the tiny captain. “That makes us a crew. I’ll raise a glass to the five of us, as soon as I can find some half decent booze.”
“Perfect,” said Yorick, before swinging Katra around for a real, full bodied kiss.
She melted into him, glad to finally be free to kiss him back. She was a new woman now: a queen out of time, without a planet, a pirate on a stolen ship. And with a new beau to enjoy.
Get our lips off him!
An internal force ripped her away from Yorick’s embrace, tearing her out of his arms and halfway across the room. It was as if her arms were no longer hers, her body taken over by…
Marcus?
“What the hell is going on?” Her mouth formed the words, but they were not hers. Her voice was low and grave all of a sudden, and her hands flew up to her lips before the other soul inside her pulled them back down.
“Where am I?” She looked down at her hands, and the voice inside her head let out a yelp of shock.
“Sorry,” she managed to say, while Marcus returned inwards to have a little tantrum. “I think we’re actually a crew of six. Team, meet Marcus: my dislocated fiancé.”
There was silence in the bridge as they stared at Katra, who struggled to calm Marcus down while he took wild control of one limb or another.
It was only Owaitt who said anything at all.
“Well, the more the merrier, as I always say.”
And the crew left the orbit of the planet formerly known as Earth, ready for new adventures far away from that disturbing place.
THE END
Want to read more by S.E. Anderson?
Starstruck
She could barely look after herself. Now, she’s looking after the entire planet.
After an incident with a hot-air balloon causes college-dropout Sally Webber to lose her job, she sets off to find direction in her life. Crashing into a teleporting alien, however, is not on her to-do list.
Now she’s on the run from TV-drama-loving aliens, and things are just getting started. Zander won’t stop reeling her into life-or-death situations to save her planet, as he waits for his laser-wielding sister to search the universe for him. Though Sally isn’t quite sure if he wants to save Earth from annihilation, or just quell his curiosity of all things human.
On top of this, she’s got to find lost alien emissaries, as well as a job, and stop the planet from getting incinerated in the process. But with Zander as her roommate, what could possibly go wrong?
Released May 4th 2017 from Bolide Publishing Limited
Books by S.E. Anderson
Starstruck
Alienation
Traveler
Novellas by S.E. Anderson
Miss Planet Earth
The Horrible Habits of Humans
Miss Planet Earth and the Amulet of Beb-Sha-Na
Short Stories by S.E. Anderson
Dark Star
About the Author
S.E. Anderson can’t ever tell you where she’s from. Not because she doesn’t want to, but because it inevitably leads to a confusing conversation where she goes over where she was born (England) where she grew up (France) and where her family is from (USA) and it tends to make things very complicated.
She’s lived pretty much her entire life in the South of France, except for a brief stint where she moved to Washington DC, or the eighty years she spent as a queen of Narnia before coming back home five minutes after she had left. Currently, she goes to university in Marseille, where she’s studying Physics and aiming for a career in Astrophysics.
When she’s not writing, or trying to science, she’s either reading, designing, crafting, or attempting to speak with various woodland creatures in an attempt to get them to do household chores for her. She could also be gaming, or pretending she’s not watching anything on Netflix.
Connect with S.E. Anderson:
Facebook: www.facebook.com/seandersonauthor
Twitter: twitter.com/sea_author
Website: seandersonauthor.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/readcommendations
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